Some quotes, and jokes
“I don’t exercise. If God had wanted me to bend over, he would have put diamonds on the floor.”
“I’ve had so much plastic surgery, when I die, they will donate my body to Tupperware.”
“I am definitely going to watch the Emmys this year! My makeup team is nominated for Best Special Effects.”
“I was so ugly that they sent my picture to Ripley’s Believe It or Not and he sent it back and said, ‘I don’t believe it.”
“The fashion magazines are suggesting that women wear clothes that are ‘age appropriate.’ For me that would be a shroud.”
“Never be afraid to laugh at yourself, after all, you could be missing out on the joke of the century.”
“At my funeral, I want Meryl Streep crying in five different accents.”
I succeeded by saying what everyone else is thinking.
“I’m very blessed to be a workaholic. Anyone that’s successful has to love their work and not say, ‘Oh, it’s 5 o’clock. Thank God.’ You’ve got to go, ‘5 o’clock already? Well, maybe another hour or two.’”
I hate housework. You make the beds, you do the dishes, and six months later, you have to start all over again.
ROFL
R.I.P JOAN RIVERS
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